Murphy's Law

(Artigo, obviamente, retirado da

“Insert quote here....errrrrrrrrm what quote... do that...”


~ The One Most Corrupted on more quotes


“ Murphy was awfully pessimistic”


~ Captain Obvious on Murphy

Murphy's Law is one of the fundamental laws of nature, even more fundamental than, for example, the law of copyright. It is a very optimistic law, stating if anything can go wrong, it will.
The law has many variants, e.g.:

Someone else will always get the last ice cream.
When a farang (foreign person) gets married to a woman from Thailand, and he later finds out that she was a man (katoey). Even if the Thai woman is actually a woman, she may have many flaws, such as laziness, very demanding, stubborn, and only marries for money and not for love.
When one attempts to hit a nail, one will always hit one's finger.
It is always sunny on Wednesday afternoons.
It always rains outside.
Toast will always fall with the buttered side down.
And you can never tell the right side of the toast to butter.
When one searches with a search engine, one ends up on Wikipedia, not on Uncyclopedia.
When you are looking for something that is in a pile, it is always next to the grue.
The grue will eat you if you touch it.
When waiting in line, the line you're in will move quickest, but you will break your leg while waiting.
Or, your line will be the slowest and you will still break your leg.
If you like women, chances are, you're a lesbian.
When teasing scorpions, they will always transpire to have a masochistic streak and actually develop an affection for you for having done so.
All your base, indeed, are belong to us.
If you flip to the Comedy channel, you get Sinbad's comedy hour.
If you like pina coladas, you most likely won't get caught in the rain (and vice versa)
any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll to the exact center (or anyplace out of reach) under the car.
a Smith&Wesson always beats four aces.
never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
a coin dropped while sitting on a couch will lodge itself in the only place you think not to look.
If you are a student and you studied 99chapters out of hundred, then your whole exam will only come from the one chapter you left.
Murphy's Law was discovered and informalized by Albert Murphy Sinbad Einstein, after whom it was named. Albert came to the idea when he was bathing under a tree, and an apple landed exactly on the hot tap. This incident also led to the invention of hot water.


The law was passed without any votes against, critics mention that anyone who would oppose had missed his or her plane, had an engine failure or hit both nail and finger with a hammer. Those for the law cite the same incidents.

A prime Example of Murphy's Law can be found in the everyday life of an unfortunate idiot named Pete Thomas. This inevitably proves this law.Link title

Contents [hide]
1 Murphy's second law
2 Murphy's third law
3 Murphy's Law, redux
4 Amendments to Murphy's Laws
5 Murphy's Paradox


[edit] Murphy's second law
Yo mamma

[edit] Murphy's third law
Murphy was on crack to think the first law, and either law #2 or #3 is completely false. But #1 looks even more false. Murphy did all he could to prove the 4th law, but failed. Was that a proof or a disproof? This depends on whether *you* wanted the law to fail or not.

[edit] Murphy's Law, redux
Murphy, short for David Bowie, is an influential Irish politician. He's credited with another version of Murphy's Law, one that requires Murphy's Irish Red be imbibed at least once daily, twice on Friday. The law was passed without any votes against, critics mention that anyone who would oppose had been out on town the night before, and in a Murphy's induced stupor. Those for the law cite the same incident.

Einstein enjoys a good Murphy's, and packaging will change in the near future to reflect his posthumous endorsement of the brew.

Incidentally, Murphy's was also invented in a bath.

[edit] Amendments to Murphy's Laws
The First Amendment
If anything can go wrong it sometimes can and possibly will.

The Second Amendment
Thou shalt sometimes miss the first bus, and usually have to wait half an hour for the next one to arrive.

thurd amendamint
if zoo heet your zelf un ze heeed weeth a freyin paan zu weel bezomme stupeeder and stupderr. theiz waz foist tezsted ooon tha whitar oof thezi farticle pection.

[edit] Murphy's Paradox
Murphy's Law says that if anything can go wrong, it will. But, this stupid law applies to itself: itself can go wrong, that is, there must be a situation where something can go wrong and it won't go wrong. So, Murphy Law is paradoxal, and by reductio ad absurdun, it is bullshit.

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_Law"