Crucifies my enemies....

quinta-feira, maio 24, 2007

Worst 100 Make Out Songs of All Time

You're listening to WILDE, Uncyclopedia Smooth Jazz and easy listening. It's 10:02 and we're going to play down the list of the Worst 100 Make Out songs of all time. That's right folks sit back and relax as these songs will surely take you out of the mood. So sit back, and relax with your lady here on WILDE.

103. Love, Hate, Love, - Alice In Chains
"I want to peel the skin from your face" ain't exactly appropriate for a romantic moment.
102. Woman, Nature's Punching Bag - Anal Cunt
101. I Just Had Rough Sex With My Cat - Edwin Spearcouch
Self-explanatory.
100. YMCA - the Village People
Just not the type of song you want your girlfriend to know you have.
99. The Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
"And it burns, burns, burns" is not the best lyric to hear, especially if you suspect your partner of having an STD
98. So What - the Anti-Nowhere League
http://www.lyricstime.com/anti-nowhere-league-so-what-lyrics.html Just look at these lyrics. . . ]
97. Rocketman - William Shatner
96. The I Love You Song from Barney
And you are how old?
95. If You Want to be Happy - Jimmy Soul
This song is especially bad if you are having a romantic evening with your wife.
94. Limbo
How low can you go?
93. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-Alot
For some reason, women don't like to hear about why you like big butts.
94. Everyone Has Aids - D.V.D.A.(Matt Stone and Trey Parker)
93. I Want To Rape You - Spinal Fuck
No comment.
92. I Got Crabs(And You Do Too!) - Eselfick
91. Sorry Babe, But I Got Yellow Fever - User:Sic_one
90. Too Drunk to Fuck - The Dead Kennedys
89. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? - Frank Zappa
88. I want to break free - Queen
Not a good way to show your love...unless your a child under Michael Jackson, in which case its perfect
87. We are the Champions - Queen
No girl likes to be bragged about
86. The Way You Do The Things You Do - The Temptations
"Listen to the lyrics - they are all a bunch of back-handed insults. For instance : "You've got a smile so bright, you know you could have been a candle". Consider the amount of lumens that a candle lets out. That ain't nothing compared to a light bulb or the sun. So, essentially, she barely brightens up your life. Even worse - "If good looks were minutes, you know you could have been an hour." That'll get her hot. Yeah, considering that there are 24 hours in a day, and the average amount of days a person will live, she's only worth 1/24 of a day in terms of good looks. So, she doesn't brighten up your life a lot and is a potential fire hazard, and she's really ugly. Then consider this, she gets compared to being a school-book (what girl doesn't like being compared to a book that everyone hates) and a crook. Not very loving."

85. Heartlight - Neil Diamond.
84. Come On and Dance with Wags The Dog - The Wiggles
83. Michael - Franz Ferdinand
It's not the best time to get out of the closet, is it?
82. Fuck me Jesus - Marduk
This is even worse if your girlfriend is religious.
81. First I Look At The Purse - J. Geils Band
80. The Magnificent Organ (album) - E. Power Biggs
79. Sleep In My Piss - GG Allin
78. D.I.V.O.R.C.E. - Tammy Wynette
77. Havin' My Baby - Paul Anka
76. Dive! Dive! Dive! - Bruce Dickinson
75. Harvester of Sorrow - Metallica
"Here are the lyrics if you're not convinced"

74. Beat It - Michael Jackson
"It just seems wrong. . . ."

73. Book-on-tape - Learning Business Spanish
"Are you going to the complimentary breakfast?" "Yeah, that'll get her hot."

72. Lick my tiny willie bitch - Anal Cunt.
"Self Explanitory"

71. Die, Die My Darling - The Misfits
70. She Rides - Danzig
69. Punk as Fuck - Circle Jerks
68. Grinder - -Judas Priest
67. Mechanix - Megadeth
66. Use Your Head - Overkill
65. Mouth For War - Pantera
64. Raining Blood - Slayer
"That would be a very messy situation"

63. Die Hard - Venom
62. Fear, Part One - Paul Di'Anno's Battlezone
"Brutal and cruel, another hard beating, the pleasure of hearing you cry"

61. Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
60. I Won't Pay Your Price - Motorhead
59. Every Song Ever Done By... - Morrissey
"Best lyricist ever? Yer maw! 'You have never been in love untill you see the stars reflect in the reservioirs.' All he's doing is trying to find a word that fits with the last. "Irish Blood, English Heart, this is what i'm made of'. Cool mate! Fantastic! Again, shite lyrics with all these tight-jeaned arsebandits pretending to be English shouting "MORRISSEY!" eating this shit up.

58. Mark is the ultimate sexanator - Mark
57. Angry Bryce Man - Bryce
"Bryce is the angriest fuck ever"

56. Unholy COnfessions-Avenged Sevenfold
55. severed-Mudvayne
54. Candy Man Can- Willy Wonka
53. I Wanna Fuck A Dog In The Ass - Blink 182
she will find out regardless

52. She Hates Me- Puddle of Mud
51. Anything by GG Allin. ' http://www.plyrics.com/g/ggallin.html look at the lyrics if you don't believe me
50. In Soviet Russia, crabs catch you! - The Soviet Russian Royal Marching Band
49. Cradle of Love - Billy Idol
Nothings says i love you like pedophilia.

48. Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex
Nothing says I love you like a song with barnyard animal sounds in it.

47. Bounce - system of a down
Unless you want a song about a gang bang then keep away from this

46. I Sent A Thank You Card To The Guy Who Raped You- Anal Cunt
45. The "Jeopardy" think music-Merv Griffin
Inspires you to say things like "What is your tongue tastes so good!" and "What is could you please take your shirt off?" Come on, people, it just sounds wrong! And no one makes out on the show!

44. Sussudio - Phil Collins
This conjures up visuals from the movie "American Psycho"

43. Tempted - Squeeze
Ooo baby, your sister is hot

42. The Break-up Song - Greg Kihn Band
41. You're Really Ugly (But There's Nobody Cute Around) - Strong Bad
40. Oops...I did it again-Britney Spears
Oops...I forgot the condoms! Do you mind getting an STD?

39. Funky Cold Medina - Tone-Loc
This song is wrong...so very, very, wrong.

38. Burn in My Light- Mercy Drive
Again burning not such a good thing and don't tell the one your with "I'm going to take what's mine!" or "Nothing is going to change what you've done to me!"

37. I'm Keeping Your Poop - Hayseed Dxixie
Not something you'd want her to know about!

36. Aaron Frater is now a member of the Pacific Pines Chess Club. He likes to make out with the Queen and the Knight. He currently is the proud owner of a Chess Butt Plug. He has made futile attempts to sleep with chicks in his chess club but was shocked to learn that they were all guys. He then attempted to fornicate with real women but was laughed at for having a penis size of -3 inches. Haha ET phone home for some real gay loving.
35. Suck my dog's dick - Wesley Willis
34. U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
You had to ruin her fun, didn't you?
33. Sexicutioner - GWAR
"Give-a to me the 'golden shower'."

32. I lit your baby on fire - Anal cunt
31. Do I Creep You Out? - Weird Al Yankovic (a.k.a. Wired Al Yoinkivich)
30. Fuck Like a beast - W.A.S.P.
Nothing quite as fucked up, unless your girlfriend likes animal porn...

29. Whos Your Daddy - Lordi
"Whos your daddy, say whos your daddy, who puts you in your place! Whos your daddy, say whos your daddy, SURRENDER AND OBEY!!" Now tell me the truth about how that would sound? ^^ Please read it out loud!

28. Beeswax - Nirvana
Errrm...I don't really think she'd like to know you've got your "diddly spayed".

27. You Shook Me All Night Long-AC/DC
She was a fast machine is really inappropriate for the moment.

26. Date Rape - Sublime
25. I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance.
You're not supposed to tell her!

24. I Used To Love Her - Guns N' Roses
"I used to love her but I had to kill her"




23. The Estrus March - The Tempora Equinox
22. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
Well, if it's lesbian sex it's okay, I guess...

22. I Fuck The Dead - Three Sixes
Hmm... Well, probably not?

21. Group Sex - Circle Jerks
Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course.

20. I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace
19. White and Nerdy - Weird Al Yankovic
18. Don't Worry Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin
17. Fuck you Gently- Tenacious D
16. I Want You Dead- Kicked in the Head
15. Old Tyme Hardcore - Anal Cunt
14. Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask - Frank Zappa
Seriously, in a blink of an eye, your girl is gone...

13. He Fell in Love with a Stormtrooper - Tank
My girlfriend isn't a gun-toting lump of plastic, is yours?

12. Take Me Home - John B
http://www.shaolintiger.com/2004/10/ Need I explain why not?

11. Orgasmatron - Sepultura
http://www.lyricshits.com/Sepultura-lyrics/Orgasmatron--song-lyrics.htm Check out the lyrics to see why. If any guy or girl ever plays this for a make out song, RUUUNNN!!!!

10. Meat Hook Sodomy - Cannibal Corpse
Read the lyrics. http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/cannibalcorpse/butcheredatbirth.html#1 Now that has gotta hurt, lots!

09. Fucked With A Knife - again Cannibal Corpse. No thanks.
08. Stripped, Raped And Strangled - Okay, anything by Cannibal Corpse is bad. We get it already.
07. Penis I See - Gwar
What the ??? You try to make sense of this by reading the lyrics http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/gwar/penisisee.html

06. Preschool Prostitute - Gwar
Okay, NEXT!

05. My Girly Ways - Gwar
Oh yeah, I'm so sure she'll think its a real turn on.

04. Fuckin' An Animal - Gwar
This speaks for itself.

03 Penile Drip - Gwar
If you have this you won't be getting any!

02 Fishfuck - Gwar
Nothing turns on a girl more then the smell of fish dick. Not!

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