The Wisdom of Jeff

Este senhor é uma personagem da série Coupling que passa no People&Arts e também na SICMulher, mas com um ligeiro atraso.

Fiquem com alguns dos seus sérios pensamentos:

"I mean, where exactly do you take your socks off? My advice is to take them off right after your shoes, and before your trousers. That’s the sock gap. Miss it, and suddenly you’re a naked man in socks. No self-respecting woman will ever let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her."

"Only an interview? What if I panic? You know, what if I say an accidental word... there’s pressure, you know, the wrong word could just pop out of my mouth by accident... Nipples!"

"Oh, wouldn’t that be great... being a lesbian. All the advantages of being a man, but with less embarrassing genitals."

"I need breasts with brains. I don’t mean individual brains, obviously... I mean, not a brain each. You know, I like intelligent women, but you’ve got to draw the line somewhere... I think breast brains would be over-egging the woman pudding."

"You know, when I was a kid, I used to write the word 'naked' hundreds of times on a piece of paper, and then rub my face in it."

"This is the curse of Jeff Murdock. I meet the woman of my dreams and I can’t take my trousers off."

"Steve, it’s a bad idea to actually count women’s breasts. The whole bus stares at you."

"Steve, you know what the sentence of death is, don’t you? I don’t mean the sentence like in executions and stuff, I mean the scary one... Just five words, Steve. Five little words. 'Where. Is. This. Relationship. Going.'"

"You know what’s great about skirts? When a woman’s wearing a skirt, you know, you know, that somewhere in that room, shifting all the time, there is the VAA: the Visual Access Angle. A clear line of sight back to base camp."

"I am a prison for sperms. Those poor little tadpoles have been sentenced for life in Jeff Murdock’s groin. And let me tell you, that can be a pretty lonely place."

"When God made the arse, he didn't say, 'Hey, it's just your basic hinge, let's knock off early.' He said, 'Behold ye angels, I have created the arse. Throughout the ages to come, men and women shall grab hold of these, and shout my name.'

"You know jelly-wrestling... which is basically jelly with women wrestling in it... OK, well, think about this. Afterwards, after the wrestling, what happens to the jelly? Because you could sell that. That is a missed opportunity. You could bottle it and sell it... You take the women out first, obviously."

"Porn-wise, lesbians are like a jam sandwich, without the sandwich and just the jam. Fact, lesbians are just a big blob of jam. Well, not actually. Unless they've exploded in all the lesbonic excitement."

Um filósofo....