Crucifies my enemies....
sexta-feira, junho 01, 2007
Murphy's Law
(Artigo, obviamente, retirado da
“Insert quote here....errrrrrrrrm what quote... do that...”
~ The One Most Corrupted on more quotes
“ Murphy was awfully pessimistic”
~ Captain Obvious on Murphy
Murphy's Law is one of the fundamental laws of nature, even more fundamental than, for example, the law of copyright. It is a very optimistic law, stating if anything can go wrong, it will.
The law has many variants, e.g.:
Someone else will always get the last ice cream.
When a farang (foreign person) gets married to a woman from Thailand, and he later finds out that she was a man (katoey). Even if the Thai woman is actually a woman, she may have many flaws, such as laziness, very demanding, stubborn, and only marries for money and not for love.
When one attempts to hit a nail, one will always hit one's finger.
It is always sunny on Wednesday afternoons.
It always rains outside.
Toast will always fall with the buttered side down.
And you can never tell the right side of the toast to butter.
When one searches with a search engine, one ends up on Wikipedia, not on Uncyclopedia.
When you are looking for something that is in a pile, it is always next to the grue.
The grue will eat you if you touch it.
When waiting in line, the line you're in will move quickest, but you will break your leg while waiting.
Or, your line will be the slowest and you will still break your leg.
If you like women, chances are, you're a lesbian.
When teasing scorpions, they will always transpire to have a masochistic streak and actually develop an affection for you for having done so.
All your base, indeed, are belong to us.
If you flip to the Comedy channel, you get Sinbad's comedy hour.
If you like pina coladas, you most likely won't get caught in the rain (and vice versa)
any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll to the exact center (or anyplace out of reach) under the car.
a Smith&Wesson always beats four aces.
never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
a coin dropped while sitting on a couch will lodge itself in the only place you think not to look.
If you are a student and you studied 99chapters out of hundred, then your whole exam will only come from the one chapter you left.
Murphy's Law was discovered and informalized by Albert Murphy Sinbad Einstein, after whom it was named. Albert came to the idea when he was bathing under a tree, and an apple landed exactly on the hot tap. This incident also led to the invention of hot water.
The law was passed without any votes against, critics mention that anyone who would oppose had missed his or her plane, had an engine failure or hit both nail and finger with a hammer. Those for the law cite the same incidents.
A prime Example of Murphy's Law can be found in the everyday life of an unfortunate idiot named Pete Thomas. This inevitably proves this law.Link title
Contents [hide]
1 Murphy's second law
2 Murphy's third law
3 Murphy's Law, redux
4 Amendments to Murphy's Laws
5 Murphy's Paradox
[edit] Murphy's second law
Yo mamma
[edit] Murphy's third law
Murphy was on crack to think the first law, and either law #2 or #3 is completely false. But #1 looks even more false. Murphy did all he could to prove the 4th law, but failed. Was that a proof or a disproof? This depends on whether *you* wanted the law to fail or not.
[edit] Murphy's Law, redux
Murphy, short for David Bowie, is an influential Irish politician. He's credited with another version of Murphy's Law, one that requires Murphy's Irish Red be imbibed at least once daily, twice on Friday. The law was passed without any votes against, critics mention that anyone who would oppose had been out on town the night before, and in a Murphy's induced stupor. Those for the law cite the same incident.
Einstein enjoys a good Murphy's, and packaging will change in the near future to reflect his posthumous endorsement of the brew.
Incidentally, Murphy's was also invented in a bath.
[edit] Amendments to Murphy's Laws
The First Amendment
If anything can go wrong it sometimes can and possibly will.
The Second Amendment
Thou shalt sometimes miss the first bus, and usually have to wait half an hour for the next one to arrive.
thurd amendamint
if zoo heet your zelf un ze heeed weeth a freyin paan zu weel bezomme stupeeder and stupderr. theiz waz foist tezsted ooon tha whitar oof thezi farticle pection.
[edit] Murphy's Paradox
Murphy's Law says that if anything can go wrong, it will. But, this stupid law applies to itself: itself can go wrong, that is, there must be a situation where something can go wrong and it won't go wrong. So, Murphy Law is paradoxal, and by reductio ad absurdun, it is bullshit.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_Law"
“Insert quote here....errrrrrrrrm what quote... do that...”
~ The One Most Corrupted on more quotes
“ Murphy was awfully pessimistic”
~ Captain Obvious on Murphy
Murphy's Law is one of the fundamental laws of nature, even more fundamental than, for example, the law of copyright. It is a very optimistic law, stating if anything can go wrong, it will.
The law has many variants, e.g.:
Someone else will always get the last ice cream.
When a farang (foreign person) gets married to a woman from Thailand, and he later finds out that she was a man (katoey). Even if the Thai woman is actually a woman, she may have many flaws, such as laziness, very demanding, stubborn, and only marries for money and not for love.
When one attempts to hit a nail, one will always hit one's finger.
It is always sunny on Wednesday afternoons.
It always rains outside.
Toast will always fall with the buttered side down.
And you can never tell the right side of the toast to butter.
When one searches with a search engine, one ends up on Wikipedia, not on Uncyclopedia.
When you are looking for something that is in a pile, it is always next to the grue.
The grue will eat you if you touch it.
When waiting in line, the line you're in will move quickest, but you will break your leg while waiting.
Or, your line will be the slowest and you will still break your leg.
If you like women, chances are, you're a lesbian.
When teasing scorpions, they will always transpire to have a masochistic streak and actually develop an affection for you for having done so.
All your base, indeed, are belong to us.
If you flip to the Comedy channel, you get Sinbad's comedy hour.
If you like pina coladas, you most likely won't get caught in the rain (and vice versa)
any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll to the exact center (or anyplace out of reach) under the car.
a Smith&Wesson always beats four aces.
never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
a coin dropped while sitting on a couch will lodge itself in the only place you think not to look.
If you are a student and you studied 99chapters out of hundred, then your whole exam will only come from the one chapter you left.
Murphy's Law was discovered and informalized by Albert Murphy Sinbad Einstein, after whom it was named. Albert came to the idea when he was bathing under a tree, and an apple landed exactly on the hot tap. This incident also led to the invention of hot water.
The law was passed without any votes against, critics mention that anyone who would oppose had missed his or her plane, had an engine failure or hit both nail and finger with a hammer. Those for the law cite the same incidents.
A prime Example of Murphy's Law can be found in the everyday life of an unfortunate idiot named Pete Thomas. This inevitably proves this law.Link title
Contents [hide]
1 Murphy's second law
2 Murphy's third law
3 Murphy's Law, redux
4 Amendments to Murphy's Laws
5 Murphy's Paradox
[edit] Murphy's second law
Yo mamma
[edit] Murphy's third law
Murphy was on crack to think the first law, and either law #2 or #3 is completely false. But #1 looks even more false. Murphy did all he could to prove the 4th law, but failed. Was that a proof or a disproof? This depends on whether *you* wanted the law to fail or not.
[edit] Murphy's Law, redux
Murphy, short for David Bowie, is an influential Irish politician. He's credited with another version of Murphy's Law, one that requires Murphy's Irish Red be imbibed at least once daily, twice on Friday. The law was passed without any votes against, critics mention that anyone who would oppose had been out on town the night before, and in a Murphy's induced stupor. Those for the law cite the same incident.
Einstein enjoys a good Murphy's, and packaging will change in the near future to reflect his posthumous endorsement of the brew.
Incidentally, Murphy's was also invented in a bath.
[edit] Amendments to Murphy's Laws
The First Amendment
If anything can go wrong it sometimes can and possibly will.
The Second Amendment
Thou shalt sometimes miss the first bus, and usually have to wait half an hour for the next one to arrive.
thurd amendamint
if zoo heet your zelf un ze heeed weeth a freyin paan zu weel bezomme stupeeder and stupderr. theiz waz foist tezsted ooon tha whitar oof thezi farticle pection.
[edit] Murphy's Paradox
Murphy's Law says that if anything can go wrong, it will. But, this stupid law applies to itself: itself can go wrong, that is, there must be a situation where something can go wrong and it won't go wrong. So, Murphy Law is paradoxal, and by reductio ad absurdun, it is bullshit.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_Law"
Ultima sexta...
Não só desta semana, mas também de trabalho durante algum tempo. E só faltam 4 dias de trabalho, e consequentemente, 9 dias para bazar deste marasmo!
Dia 1
Take Your Komodo Dragon To Work Day
1865 - Darth Maul brings balance to the Force
Dia 1
Take Your Komodo Dragon To Work Day
1865 - Darth Maul brings balance to the Force
quinta-feira, maio 31, 2007
Hoje.
Nada, o do costume, não sendo o corrente costume nada bom ou agradável.
E dia de aniversário do Dino.
Parabéns Dino!
Dia 31
2006 Bono finally finds what he's looking for.
2007 Bono Loses what he finally found in 2006, begins to look for it again.
2018 Bono Re-finds what he's looking for, but loses it in a poker game to Oscar Wilde when Bono calls with a pair of 3's to Oscar Wilde's Straight Flush.
E dia de aniversário do Dino.
Parabéns Dino!
Dia 31
2006 Bono finally finds what he's looking for.
2007 Bono Loses what he finally found in 2006, begins to look for it again.
2018 Bono Re-finds what he's looking for, but loses it in a poker game to Oscar Wilde when Bono calls with a pair of 3's to Oscar Wilde's Straight Flush.
quarta-feira, maio 30, 2007
Nem paciência
Há para isto. Nem para isto nem para muitas outras coisas. Nicles de paciência.
Dia 30
1984 - Big Brother watches you.
E esqueci-me
PARABÉNS TUGA!
Dia 30
1984 - Big Brother watches you.
E esqueci-me
PARABÉNS TUGA!
terça-feira, maio 29, 2007
Bipolaridade
É incrível como a coluna vertebral de certas pessoas lhes permite uma flexibilidade de humor incrível. E falo apenas de estados de espírito. Se calhar não é geral, é especialmente dirigido, pois nota-se que existe uma dualidade de critérios na atitude.
Mas enfim, live and learn.
Dia 29
1789 - Thomas Jefferson creates the "No Anniversary Day", in order to let people rest from Anniversaries at least one day in the year.
1790 - Several people across the country try to celebrate the second "No Anniversary Day" and are executed for stupidity.
1791 - Third No Anniversary Day. Nothing happens.
Mas enfim, live and learn.
Dia 29
1789 - Thomas Jefferson creates the "No Anniversary Day", in order to let people rest from Anniversaries at least one day in the year.
1790 - Several people across the country try to celebrate the second "No Anniversary Day" and are executed for stupidity.
1791 - Third No Anniversary Day. Nothing happens.
segunda-feira, maio 28, 2007
Menos uma semana
Ou mais uma dependendo do ponto de vista. A menina já está "internada" só saindo directamente para a viagem.. Tudo preparado, só falta o tempo passar depressa e ir. A cabeça já não dá para muito mais.
Dia 25
1977 - God creates Funk.
1978 - And He saw it was goooooood.
Dia 26
1963 - Unicorns are discovered in Portugal.
1964 - Unicorns are extinct in Portugal.
Dia 27
1947 - Mexico Space Program launches first rocket powered by jumping beans.
Dia 28
1781 - Hip Hop is forbidden by Pope B.J. IV. The prohibition lasts until 1998; it's ending triggers the renaissance of hip hop.
Dia 25
1977 - God creates Funk.
1978 - And He saw it was goooooood.
Dia 26
1963 - Unicorns are discovered in Portugal.
1964 - Unicorns are extinct in Portugal.
Dia 27
1947 - Mexico Space Program launches first rocket powered by jumping beans.
Dia 28
1781 - Hip Hop is forbidden by Pope B.J. IV. The prohibition lasts until 1998; it's ending triggers the renaissance of hip hop.
quinta-feira, maio 24, 2007
Worst 100 Make Out Songs of All Time
You're listening to WILDE, Uncyclopedia Smooth Jazz and easy listening. It's 10:02 and we're going to play down the list of the Worst 100 Make Out songs of all time. That's right folks sit back and relax as these songs will surely take you out of the mood. So sit back, and relax with your lady here on WILDE.
103. Love, Hate, Love, - Alice In Chains
"I want to peel the skin from your face" ain't exactly appropriate for a romantic moment.
102. Woman, Nature's Punching Bag - Anal Cunt
101. I Just Had Rough Sex With My Cat - Edwin Spearcouch
Self-explanatory.
100. YMCA - the Village People
Just not the type of song you want your girlfriend to know you have.
99. The Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
"And it burns, burns, burns" is not the best lyric to hear, especially if you suspect your partner of having an STD
98. So What - the Anti-Nowhere League
http://www.lyricstime.com/anti-nowhere-league-so-what-lyrics.html Just look at these lyrics. . . ]
97. Rocketman - William Shatner
96. The I Love You Song from Barney
And you are how old?
95. If You Want to be Happy - Jimmy Soul
This song is especially bad if you are having a romantic evening with your wife.
94. Limbo
How low can you go?
93. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-Alot
For some reason, women don't like to hear about why you like big butts.
94. Everyone Has Aids - D.V.D.A.(Matt Stone and Trey Parker)
93. I Want To Rape You - Spinal Fuck
No comment.
92. I Got Crabs(And You Do Too!) - Eselfick
91. Sorry Babe, But I Got Yellow Fever - User:Sic_one
90. Too Drunk to Fuck - The Dead Kennedys
89. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? - Frank Zappa
88. I want to break free - Queen
Not a good way to show your love...unless your a child under Michael Jackson, in which case its perfect
87. We are the Champions - Queen
No girl likes to be bragged about
86. The Way You Do The Things You Do - The Temptations
"Listen to the lyrics - they are all a bunch of back-handed insults. For instance : "You've got a smile so bright, you know you could have been a candle". Consider the amount of lumens that a candle lets out. That ain't nothing compared to a light bulb or the sun. So, essentially, she barely brightens up your life. Even worse - "If good looks were minutes, you know you could have been an hour." That'll get her hot. Yeah, considering that there are 24 hours in a day, and the average amount of days a person will live, she's only worth 1/24 of a day in terms of good looks. So, she doesn't brighten up your life a lot and is a potential fire hazard, and she's really ugly. Then consider this, she gets compared to being a school-book (what girl doesn't like being compared to a book that everyone hates) and a crook. Not very loving."
85. Heartlight - Neil Diamond.
84. Come On and Dance with Wags The Dog - The Wiggles
83. Michael - Franz Ferdinand
It's not the best time to get out of the closet, is it?
82. Fuck me Jesus - Marduk
This is even worse if your girlfriend is religious.
81. First I Look At The Purse - J. Geils Band
80. The Magnificent Organ (album) - E. Power Biggs
79. Sleep In My Piss - GG Allin
78. D.I.V.O.R.C.E. - Tammy Wynette
77. Havin' My Baby - Paul Anka
76. Dive! Dive! Dive! - Bruce Dickinson
75. Harvester of Sorrow - Metallica
"Here are the lyrics if you're not convinced"
74. Beat It - Michael Jackson
"It just seems wrong. . . ."
73. Book-on-tape - Learning Business Spanish
"Are you going to the complimentary breakfast?" "Yeah, that'll get her hot."
72. Lick my tiny willie bitch - Anal Cunt.
"Self Explanitory"
71. Die, Die My Darling - The Misfits
70. She Rides - Danzig
69. Punk as Fuck - Circle Jerks
68. Grinder - -Judas Priest
67. Mechanix - Megadeth
66. Use Your Head - Overkill
65. Mouth For War - Pantera
64. Raining Blood - Slayer
"That would be a very messy situation"
63. Die Hard - Venom
62. Fear, Part One - Paul Di'Anno's Battlezone
"Brutal and cruel, another hard beating, the pleasure of hearing you cry"
61. Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
60. I Won't Pay Your Price - Motorhead
59. Every Song Ever Done By... - Morrissey
"Best lyricist ever? Yer maw! 'You have never been in love untill you see the stars reflect in the reservioirs.' All he's doing is trying to find a word that fits with the last. "Irish Blood, English Heart, this is what i'm made of'. Cool mate! Fantastic! Again, shite lyrics with all these tight-jeaned arsebandits pretending to be English shouting "MORRISSEY!" eating this shit up.
58. Mark is the ultimate sexanator - Mark
57. Angry Bryce Man - Bryce
"Bryce is the angriest fuck ever"
56. Unholy COnfessions-Avenged Sevenfold
55. severed-Mudvayne
54. Candy Man Can- Willy Wonka
53. I Wanna Fuck A Dog In The Ass - Blink 182
she will find out regardless
52. She Hates Me- Puddle of Mud
51. Anything by GG Allin. ' http://www.plyrics.com/g/ggallin.html look at the lyrics if you don't believe me
50. In Soviet Russia, crabs catch you! - The Soviet Russian Royal Marching Band
49. Cradle of Love - Billy Idol
Nothings says i love you like pedophilia.
48. Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex
Nothing says I love you like a song with barnyard animal sounds in it.
47. Bounce - system of a down
Unless you want a song about a gang bang then keep away from this
46. I Sent A Thank You Card To The Guy Who Raped You- Anal Cunt
45. The "Jeopardy" think music-Merv Griffin
Inspires you to say things like "What is your tongue tastes so good!" and "What is could you please take your shirt off?" Come on, people, it just sounds wrong! And no one makes out on the show!
44. Sussudio - Phil Collins
This conjures up visuals from the movie "American Psycho"
43. Tempted - Squeeze
Ooo baby, your sister is hot
42. The Break-up Song - Greg Kihn Band
41. You're Really Ugly (But There's Nobody Cute Around) - Strong Bad
40. Oops...I did it again-Britney Spears
Oops...I forgot the condoms! Do you mind getting an STD?
39. Funky Cold Medina - Tone-Loc
This song is wrong...so very, very, wrong.
38. Burn in My Light- Mercy Drive
Again burning not such a good thing and don't tell the one your with "I'm going to take what's mine!" or "Nothing is going to change what you've done to me!"
37. I'm Keeping Your Poop - Hayseed Dxixie
Not something you'd want her to know about!
36. Aaron Frater is now a member of the Pacific Pines Chess Club. He likes to make out with the Queen and the Knight. He currently is the proud owner of a Chess Butt Plug. He has made futile attempts to sleep with chicks in his chess club but was shocked to learn that they were all guys. He then attempted to fornicate with real women but was laughed at for having a penis size of -3 inches. Haha ET phone home for some real gay loving.
35. Suck my dog's dick - Wesley Willis
34. U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
You had to ruin her fun, didn't you?
33. Sexicutioner - GWAR
"Give-a to me the 'golden shower'."
32. I lit your baby on fire - Anal cunt
31. Do I Creep You Out? - Weird Al Yankovic (a.k.a. Wired Al Yoinkivich)
30. Fuck Like a beast - W.A.S.P.
Nothing quite as fucked up, unless your girlfriend likes animal porn...
29. Whos Your Daddy - Lordi
"Whos your daddy, say whos your daddy, who puts you in your place! Whos your daddy, say whos your daddy, SURRENDER AND OBEY!!" Now tell me the truth about how that would sound? ^^ Please read it out loud!
28. Beeswax - Nirvana
Errrm...I don't really think she'd like to know you've got your "diddly spayed".
27. You Shook Me All Night Long-AC/DC
She was a fast machine is really inappropriate for the moment.
26. Date Rape - Sublime
25. I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance.
You're not supposed to tell her!
24. I Used To Love Her - Guns N' Roses
"I used to love her but I had to kill her"
23. The Estrus March - The Tempora Equinox
22. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
Well, if it's lesbian sex it's okay, I guess...
22. I Fuck The Dead - Three Sixes
Hmm... Well, probably not?
21. Group Sex - Circle Jerks
Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course.
20. I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace
19. White and Nerdy - Weird Al Yankovic
18. Don't Worry Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin
17. Fuck you Gently- Tenacious D
16. I Want You Dead- Kicked in the Head
15. Old Tyme Hardcore - Anal Cunt
14. Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask - Frank Zappa
Seriously, in a blink of an eye, your girl is gone...
13. He Fell in Love with a Stormtrooper - Tank
My girlfriend isn't a gun-toting lump of plastic, is yours?
12. Take Me Home - John B
http://www.shaolintiger.com/2004/10/ Need I explain why not?
11. Orgasmatron - Sepultura
http://www.lyricshits.com/Sepultura-lyrics/Orgasmatron--song-lyrics.htm Check out the lyrics to see why. If any guy or girl ever plays this for a make out song, RUUUNNN!!!!
10. Meat Hook Sodomy - Cannibal Corpse
Read the lyrics. http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/cannibalcorpse/butcheredatbirth.html#1 Now that has gotta hurt, lots!
09. Fucked With A Knife - again Cannibal Corpse. No thanks.
08. Stripped, Raped And Strangled - Okay, anything by Cannibal Corpse is bad. We get it already.
07. Penis I See - Gwar
What the ??? You try to make sense of this by reading the lyrics http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/gwar/penisisee.html
06. Preschool Prostitute - Gwar
Okay, NEXT!
05. My Girly Ways - Gwar
Oh yeah, I'm so sure she'll think its a real turn on.
04. Fuckin' An Animal - Gwar
This speaks for itself.
03 Penile Drip - Gwar
If you have this you won't be getting any!
02 Fishfuck - Gwar
Nothing turns on a girl more then the smell of fish dick. Not!
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Worst_100_Make_Out_Songs_of_All_Time"
103. Love, Hate, Love, - Alice In Chains
"I want to peel the skin from your face" ain't exactly appropriate for a romantic moment.
102. Woman, Nature's Punching Bag - Anal Cunt
101. I Just Had Rough Sex With My Cat - Edwin Spearcouch
Self-explanatory.
100. YMCA - the Village People
Just not the type of song you want your girlfriend to know you have.
99. The Ring of Fire - Johnny Cash
"And it burns, burns, burns" is not the best lyric to hear, especially if you suspect your partner of having an STD
98. So What - the Anti-Nowhere League
http://www.lyricstime.com/anti-nowhere-league-so-what-lyrics.html Just look at these lyrics. . . ]
97. Rocketman - William Shatner
96. The I Love You Song from Barney
And you are how old?
95. If You Want to be Happy - Jimmy Soul
This song is especially bad if you are having a romantic evening with your wife.
94. Limbo
How low can you go?
93. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-Alot
For some reason, women don't like to hear about why you like big butts.
94. Everyone Has Aids - D.V.D.A.(Matt Stone and Trey Parker)
93. I Want To Rape You - Spinal Fuck
No comment.
92. I Got Crabs(And You Do Too!) - Eselfick
91. Sorry Babe, But I Got Yellow Fever - User:Sic_one
90. Too Drunk to Fuck - The Dead Kennedys
89. Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? - Frank Zappa
88. I want to break free - Queen
Not a good way to show your love...unless your a child under Michael Jackson, in which case its perfect
87. We are the Champions - Queen
No girl likes to be bragged about
86. The Way You Do The Things You Do - The Temptations
"Listen to the lyrics - they are all a bunch of back-handed insults. For instance : "You've got a smile so bright, you know you could have been a candle". Consider the amount of lumens that a candle lets out. That ain't nothing compared to a light bulb or the sun. So, essentially, she barely brightens up your life. Even worse - "If good looks were minutes, you know you could have been an hour." That'll get her hot. Yeah, considering that there are 24 hours in a day, and the average amount of days a person will live, she's only worth 1/24 of a day in terms of good looks. So, she doesn't brighten up your life a lot and is a potential fire hazard, and she's really ugly. Then consider this, she gets compared to being a school-book (what girl doesn't like being compared to a book that everyone hates) and a crook. Not very loving."
85. Heartlight - Neil Diamond.
84. Come On and Dance with Wags The Dog - The Wiggles
83. Michael - Franz Ferdinand
It's not the best time to get out of the closet, is it?
82. Fuck me Jesus - Marduk
This is even worse if your girlfriend is religious.
81. First I Look At The Purse - J. Geils Band
80. The Magnificent Organ (album) - E. Power Biggs
79. Sleep In My Piss - GG Allin
78. D.I.V.O.R.C.E. - Tammy Wynette
77. Havin' My Baby - Paul Anka
76. Dive! Dive! Dive! - Bruce Dickinson
75. Harvester of Sorrow - Metallica
"Here are the lyrics if you're not convinced"
74. Beat It - Michael Jackson
"It just seems wrong. . . ."
73. Book-on-tape - Learning Business Spanish
"Are you going to the complimentary breakfast?" "Yeah, that'll get her hot."
72. Lick my tiny willie bitch - Anal Cunt.
"Self Explanitory"
71. Die, Die My Darling - The Misfits
70. She Rides - Danzig
69. Punk as Fuck - Circle Jerks
68. Grinder - -Judas Priest
67. Mechanix - Megadeth
66. Use Your Head - Overkill
65. Mouth For War - Pantera
64. Raining Blood - Slayer
"That would be a very messy situation"
63. Die Hard - Venom
62. Fear, Part One - Paul Di'Anno's Battlezone
"Brutal and cruel, another hard beating, the pleasure of hearing you cry"
61. Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
60. I Won't Pay Your Price - Motorhead
59. Every Song Ever Done By... - Morrissey
"Best lyricist ever? Yer maw! 'You have never been in love untill you see the stars reflect in the reservioirs.' All he's doing is trying to find a word that fits with the last. "Irish Blood, English Heart, this is what i'm made of'. Cool mate! Fantastic! Again, shite lyrics with all these tight-jeaned arsebandits pretending to be English shouting "MORRISSEY!" eating this shit up.
58. Mark is the ultimate sexanator - Mark
57. Angry Bryce Man - Bryce
"Bryce is the angriest fuck ever"
56. Unholy COnfessions-Avenged Sevenfold
55. severed-Mudvayne
54. Candy Man Can- Willy Wonka
53. I Wanna Fuck A Dog In The Ass - Blink 182
she will find out regardless
52. She Hates Me- Puddle of Mud
51. Anything by GG Allin. ' http://www.plyrics.com/g/ggallin.html look at the lyrics if you don't believe me
50. In Soviet Russia, crabs catch you! - The Soviet Russian Royal Marching Band
49. Cradle of Love - Billy Idol
Nothings says i love you like pedophilia.
48. Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex
Nothing says I love you like a song with barnyard animal sounds in it.
47. Bounce - system of a down
Unless you want a song about a gang bang then keep away from this
46. I Sent A Thank You Card To The Guy Who Raped You- Anal Cunt
45. The "Jeopardy" think music-Merv Griffin
Inspires you to say things like "What is your tongue tastes so good!" and "What is could you please take your shirt off?" Come on, people, it just sounds wrong! And no one makes out on the show!
44. Sussudio - Phil Collins
This conjures up visuals from the movie "American Psycho"
43. Tempted - Squeeze
Ooo baby, your sister is hot
42. The Break-up Song - Greg Kihn Band
41. You're Really Ugly (But There's Nobody Cute Around) - Strong Bad
40. Oops...I did it again-Britney Spears
Oops...I forgot the condoms! Do you mind getting an STD?
39. Funky Cold Medina - Tone-Loc
This song is wrong...so very, very, wrong.
38. Burn in My Light- Mercy Drive
Again burning not such a good thing and don't tell the one your with "I'm going to take what's mine!" or "Nothing is going to change what you've done to me!"
37. I'm Keeping Your Poop - Hayseed Dxixie
Not something you'd want her to know about!
36. Aaron Frater is now a member of the Pacific Pines Chess Club. He likes to make out with the Queen and the Knight. He currently is the proud owner of a Chess Butt Plug. He has made futile attempts to sleep with chicks in his chess club but was shocked to learn that they were all guys. He then attempted to fornicate with real women but was laughed at for having a penis size of -3 inches. Haha ET phone home for some real gay loving.
35. Suck my dog's dick - Wesley Willis
34. U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
You had to ruin her fun, didn't you?
33. Sexicutioner - GWAR
"Give-a to me the 'golden shower'."
32. I lit your baby on fire - Anal cunt
31. Do I Creep You Out? - Weird Al Yankovic (a.k.a. Wired Al Yoinkivich)
30. Fuck Like a beast - W.A.S.P.
Nothing quite as fucked up, unless your girlfriend likes animal porn...
29. Whos Your Daddy - Lordi
"Whos your daddy, say whos your daddy, who puts you in your place! Whos your daddy, say whos your daddy, SURRENDER AND OBEY!!" Now tell me the truth about how that would sound? ^^ Please read it out loud!
28. Beeswax - Nirvana
Errrm...I don't really think she'd like to know you've got your "diddly spayed".
27. You Shook Me All Night Long-AC/DC
She was a fast machine is really inappropriate for the moment.
26. Date Rape - Sublime
25. I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance.
You're not supposed to tell her!
24. I Used To Love Her - Guns N' Roses
"I used to love her but I had to kill her"
23. The Estrus March - The Tempora Equinox
22. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
Well, if it's lesbian sex it's okay, I guess...
22. I Fuck The Dead - Three Sixes
Hmm... Well, probably not?
21. Group Sex - Circle Jerks
Unless you're into that sort of thing, of course.
20. I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace
19. White and Nerdy - Weird Al Yankovic
18. Don't Worry Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin
17. Fuck you Gently- Tenacious D
16. I Want You Dead- Kicked in the Head
15. Old Tyme Hardcore - Anal Cunt
14. Prelude To The Afternoon Of A Sexually Aroused Gas Mask - Frank Zappa
Seriously, in a blink of an eye, your girl is gone...
13. He Fell in Love with a Stormtrooper - Tank
My girlfriend isn't a gun-toting lump of plastic, is yours?
12. Take Me Home - John B
http://www.shaolintiger.com/2004/10/ Need I explain why not?
11. Orgasmatron - Sepultura
http://www.lyricshits.com/Sepultura-lyrics/Orgasmatron--song-lyrics.htm Check out the lyrics to see why. If any guy or girl ever plays this for a make out song, RUUUNNN!!!!
10. Meat Hook Sodomy - Cannibal Corpse
Read the lyrics. http://www.darklyrics.com/lyrics/cannibalcorpse/butcheredatbirth.html#1 Now that has gotta hurt, lots!
09. Fucked With A Knife - again Cannibal Corpse. No thanks.
08. Stripped, Raped And Strangled - Okay, anything by Cannibal Corpse is bad. We get it already.
07. Penis I See - Gwar
What the ??? You try to make sense of this by reading the lyrics http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/gwar/penisisee.html
06. Preschool Prostitute - Gwar
Okay, NEXT!
05. My Girly Ways - Gwar
Oh yeah, I'm so sure she'll think its a real turn on.
04. Fuckin' An Animal - Gwar
This speaks for itself.
03 Penile Drip - Gwar
If you have this you won't be getting any!
02 Fishfuck - Gwar
Nothing turns on a girl more then the smell of fish dick. Not!
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Worst_100_Make_Out_Songs_of_All_Time"
Pontes
Pontes. Pois, temos a estranha tendência para as deixar cair, a de entre-os-rios, a de benfica (aquando da colocação do tabuleiro novo para o comboio), a da IC19, a do eixo Norte-Sul (ou pelo menos uma parte).
Somos bons é nos túneis, tipo o acto de cavar, de nos afundarmos cada vez mais. Devia ser aí o investimento. No buraco.
Fui ver ontem o Zodiac. Interessante, esperava outra coisa, mas não deixou de ser interessante, talvez um pouco longo demais. Mas fiel aos factos, como se poderá constatar aqui.
Dia 24
274 BC - The first step towards capturing a unicorn is taken - finding a virgin.
Somos bons é nos túneis, tipo o acto de cavar, de nos afundarmos cada vez mais. Devia ser aí o investimento. No buraco.
Fui ver ontem o Zodiac. Interessante, esperava outra coisa, mas não deixou de ser interessante, talvez um pouco longo demais. Mas fiel aos factos, como se poderá constatar aqui.
Dia 24
274 BC - The first step towards capturing a unicorn is taken - finding a virgin.
quarta-feira, maio 23, 2007
Quanto mais perto...
....mais custa.
E hoje não me apetece escrever nada aqui. Não sei porquê, não tenho tema, não que nos ultimos tempos tenha tido algum tema para colocar aqui, mas fundamentalmente não me apetece.
E isto é meu e faço o que me apetece.
Dia 23
1834 - The Force puts a DO NOT DISTURB sign on her door.
E hoje não me apetece escrever nada aqui. Não sei porquê, não tenho tema, não que nos ultimos tempos tenha tido algum tema para colocar aqui, mas fundamentalmente não me apetece.
E isto é meu e faço o que me apetece.
Dia 23
1834 - The Force puts a DO NOT DISTURB sign on her door.
terça-feira, maio 22, 2007
Terça.
E acho que o Sol se afastou pelo menos por 3 dias, segundo as previsões. Estas diferenças de temperatura não são nada boas, não convinha mesmo nada ficar doente nesta altura. Bem, se fosse NESTA altura até que não era muito mau, mas daqui a 15 dias não calhava nada bem.
E vamos bulir.
Dia 22
1888 - Start your own Reich day, in Germany
E vamos bulir.
Dia 22
1888 - Start your own Reich day, in Germany
segunda-feira, maio 21, 2007
Segunda...
E falta tanto, e tão pouco.
Ontem foi vergonhoso. Não o facto do Porto ganhar, do SCP ficar em segundo, e o meu Benfas ficar em terceiro. Não foi ontem que se estabeleceram estas posições mas sim ao longo do campeonato. O que acho que foi vergonhoso foi a actuação do Belém. Para, não, jogar como o fez, mais valia nem terem posto os pés no relvado.
Uma Betoneira (Suzuki) no pódium de MotoGP também é notícia, numa corrida em que o 46 está cada vez mais longe, o qeu me agrada. Veremos em Mugello o que se passará, e principalmente se o 19 se porta bem.
De resto tudo na mesma. O que pode ou não ser bom...
Dia 20
1995 - Some Guy finally translates De Bello Gallico.
Dia 21
1453 - Hundred Years' War finally ends. France win after a penalty shoot-out
Ontem foi vergonhoso. Não o facto do Porto ganhar, do SCP ficar em segundo, e o meu Benfas ficar em terceiro. Não foi ontem que se estabeleceram estas posições mas sim ao longo do campeonato. O que acho que foi vergonhoso foi a actuação do Belém. Para, não, jogar como o fez, mais valia nem terem posto os pés no relvado.
Uma Betoneira (Suzuki) no pódium de MotoGP também é notícia, numa corrida em que o 46 está cada vez mais longe, o qeu me agrada. Veremos em Mugello o que se passará, e principalmente se o 19 se porta bem.
De resto tudo na mesma. O que pode ou não ser bom...
Dia 20
1995 - Some Guy finally translates De Bello Gallico.
Dia 21
1453 - Hundred Years' War finally ends. France win after a penalty shoot-out
sábado, maio 19, 2007
Mais um saturday....
Só para não ter azares, vou ter que fixar permanentemente o Öhlins à Carolina. Só para que não haja tentações dos amigos do alheio.
É que para quem não sabe, aquilo faz muita falta.
Mas, ai ai, e pronto lá vou eu para as lides laborais....
Dia 19
A long, long time ago - Jedi Purge Day
2005 - Attempting to stay in business, the free encyclopedia Wikipedia sells advertisements using a bizarre method: for one hundred dollars, you can have every noun in any one sentence replaced with your product's name permanently.
2005 - Later that Pepsi-Cola: Attempting to parody Pepsi-Cola, the free Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola sells Pepsi-Colas using a bizarre Pepsi-Cola: for one hundred Pepsi-Colas, Pepsi-Cola can have every Pepsi-Cola in any one Pepsi-Cola replaced with your Pepsi-Cola's Pepsi-Cola permanently.
É que para quem não sabe, aquilo faz muita falta.
Mas, ai ai, e pronto lá vou eu para as lides laborais....
Dia 19
A long, long time ago - Jedi Purge Day
2005 - Attempting to stay in business, the free encyclopedia Wikipedia sells advertisements using a bizarre method: for one hundred dollars, you can have every noun in any one sentence replaced with your product's name permanently.
2005 - Later that Pepsi-Cola: Attempting to parody Pepsi-Cola, the free Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola sells Pepsi-Colas using a bizarre Pepsi-Cola: for one hundred Pepsi-Colas, Pepsi-Cola can have every Pepsi-Cola in any one Pepsi-Cola replaced with your Pepsi-Cola's Pepsi-Cola permanently.
sexta-feira, maio 18, 2007
Infelizmente
Só pecava por tardio. Lá se foi o rádio do Bitó.... Enfim.
Hoje mais nada, apenas uma decisão, tenho de começar, tal como fiz com o leite, a dar também importância aos citrinos....
Dia 18
10 - Hannibal crosses the Alps and eats his enemies.
Hoje mais nada, apenas uma decisão, tenho de começar, tal como fiz com o leite, a dar também importância aos citrinos....
Dia 18
10 - Hannibal crosses the Alps and eats his enemies.
quinta-feira, maio 17, 2007
Sinto-me...
Egípcio... por volta da 20 dinastia...
Isto porque adoro o Sol.
Ou, melhor dizendo, não me importava de o adorar mais em privado...
Cenas!
Isto porque adoro o Sol.
Ou, melhor dizendo, não me importava de o adorar mais em privado...
Cenas!
Companhia
Encontrei companhia para a viagem. Mais um doido. Sempre me tira um peso das costas. Literalmente.
E outra coisa, não estava à espera de conhecer tão intimamente a geração SMS. Em que tu se resolve por essa via. Mas enfim. Live and learn!
E outra coisa, não estava à espera de conhecer tão intimamente a geração SMS. Em que tu se resolve por essa via. Mas enfim. Live and learn!
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